Personal Reflection

I've spoken a lot lately about forgiveness. About not wanting to forgive. About staying angry for what has happened. Until I realized, that is NOT who I am. I managed to make ammends with one of my friends I thought I had lost forever. She initiated the forgiveness and I humbly followed. I was greatful for the events that led to this chance meeting. It was not something we had both planned. But it happened, and I am thankful to God for it. I don't like the feeling of knowing someone is mad at me or in this case, not talking with her and THINKING she was mad at me. Which I found out, really was not the case. Our situation was a misunderstanding. And for the sake of healthy relationships, and our own personal desires, we have managed to put most of the past in the past and look forward to moving onto a future friendship. Different than before, but IMO we'll both be much stronger, and grow from this experience.

I've thought a lot in the last week. Too much, perhaps. About who I became moving here. I judged people because of things other people would say. I judged myself because of what people would say. WHY?! I lost a lot of good chances at friendships due to this. Due to being in my comfort zone. I had my friends, why did I need any more? I missed a lot of fun events with other friends because I was selfish. These are all things that I teach my kids not to do, yet I was not following my own advice. I have learned over the last month how many mistakes I have made since being here, and I have made a promise to myself never to make those mistakes again! Let's see if I can live what I have learned.

Being a good friend is what I strive for now. Being a good person. Being a servant to God. Making ammends with other people will come at a later time. I think seperation is the best bet for now. I know I am loved by many, and not liked by few. And for me, that is ok. I can live with that. My goal from now on is to lead a strongly devoted Catholic life with my family. The family that comes first! What is your personal reflection for the day? In Brene Brown's words "How do YOU dig deeper?" :)

I hope everyone has a Blessed day!

{Magi Mae}